Monday 27 May 2013

Balsam and Broadway Crow

The crows were being petty towards each other, which was especially hurtful, since this was the time of year that they were at war with the seagulls and on the defensive from the eagles.

It mostly bothered him, because every time he flew over to his two neighbours, who were never not seen together, they would fly away from him. And once when he tried to share the piece of bread that he had found, they took it from him completely and flew away.

What were they? Geese? It was outrageous. And he was going to finally squawk up the courage to mention something at the next city council meeting. There had to be a certain amount of solidarity. Wasn't it a rush when all three of them, just last year, attacked that large scary human on a bicycle? And now, he wanted to move. But he needed permission if he was going to have crow protection. Which he needed because he was truly hoping on starting his own nest this year.

Even on the way to the meeting, they completely ignored him whilst in flight. In fact, they all did. What the hell was going on here? I'm not some stupid Jonathan Livingston here. I'm a good crow. I do good crow work.

At the council meeting, before he could hope to raise his complaints he was called by name. “Balsam and Broadway” The mayor called out. “please glide forward.”

He was so nervous his feathers looked as if he had just been in a fight.

“Balsam and Broadway, your neighbours have been issuing reports of you, and your behaviour to the council. And we are afraid that we have some news for you.”

Oh God! He thought, they're going to make me into a Johnathan Livingston Crow! Why?

“You have been a good crow to your area, cawing bright and early near the windows the humans who inhabit your area, strutting around as if this great city were made solely for you. Yet, never carrying this behaviour forward to your fellow Crow.”

“Yes?” Was all he could muster.

“You have been kind and forgiving, and without complaint, despite the council sending you two horrendous birds to live next to you. In order for them to report back your reaction. It says here” the mayor rolled out one of the McDonald's napkins that crows are always writing on. “That you were going to complain about them in private with me, after the council.”

Where did he get that information? How could anyone have known that?

“Well, yes. Yes I was.”

“Good Crow! Good Crow!”

Now all of the crows were yelling this out together.

“You have been elected as my replacement as Mayor of Vancouver for next season, until such time that you choose to quit, or you die.”

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Mayor of Vancouver! Except, the spies that were sent from the council had lied.

So after the celebration, the next morning he approached his neighbours and asked them why they lied, that he was clearly going to shame them publicly and would not have been elected Mayor, had he done so.

They responded by saying one word at a time, forming a sentence ultimately together

“Because!”

“Now!”

“We!”

“Own!”

“You!”

It was clear to him that he was in trouble, that these crows were evil, these were not Vancouver crows, oh no, they must have originally hatched in Toronto, or Winnipeg, and found their way here because of lucky winds.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following season, when Balsam and Broadway became Mayor of Vancouver. He found out about a deal that the two neighbour birds that were making with the seagulls. They were negotiating egg swaps, that they would make look like Eagle attacks.

Balsam couldn't stand the thought of such deception, and he knew that they would expect him to go along with it, much like the last Mayor must have gone along with it, and the one before that.

Oh! To find out that this whole time the war between Seagulls and Crows had been a sham! Why, anything would be better than giving up crow eggs to seagulls! Anything!

Which is exactly what he chose. He found out when the meet for the exchange was supposed to happen. Right on Kits beach, right there in the open, for any and all to see! It was fine, it didn't effect his plan, he just couldn't imagine the gall that these two crows had.

His plan involved and awkward conversation, and approval from the council, even the Mayor can't make decisions like this without approval.

He was to approach the Eagles, and provide them the offer that was being given the Seagulls. For good Crows can fight Seagulls, but Eagles? Impossible. Eagles were huge, fast and noble. And clean. Never see the white on a Bald Eagle anything other than white. Never saw a Seagull like that. Not ever!

The conversation that he had with the Eagles went well, they were talonted speakers. And treated him with more respect than he thought they would.

“We agree to your terms Mayor. And we will act accordingly.”

The day of the meeting between the schemers and the seagulls, the Mayor of Vancouver watched from a distance and an Eagle swept in and took the eggs from both the Seagulls and the Crows, and then watched as another Eagle came down and ripped up the two crows with his massive talons.

The deaths were barely thought of, the missing eggs were accounted for. And all was well. Balsam and Broadway got himself two good new neighbours, the squawk as loudly as they can together near any open window they can find in the morning. They attack anyone who lingers too long or too close to their nests.

And they always walk around, as if they own the place.

Because they do. And always will.

No comments:

Post a Comment