Alfredo The Magic Blue Cat

In a dark alley, just off of Broadway, there was a man who could make cats disappear. The logistics of this magic ability were very limited. It had to be at three thirty three in the morning. There had to be more than five cats. And less than thirteen. And he could only make one disappear.

Anyone who has seen anywhere between five and thirteen cats mulling around a back alley, would say it be hard to notice if one just disappeared. It also could have just run off. Not the point though.

The point was that a lot of fortunes were won and lost over this strange little man's magic powers. Betting on which cat would disappear, as he claimed that he also had no control over which cat would disappear.

There was also great speculation and side betting as to where the cats went. No one wanted to find out the answer that badly though.

There was one time that Mickey, who was known as sort of the village idiot, brought in his own cat. And bet on him to disappear. After that day, since they all knew the cat and Mickey so well, no one even thought to ask the man where the cats went.

Which was a good thing. Because the cats were not going to a nice place.

They were going to hell, and demons were eating them. Except for Mickey's cat. This is his story: The story of Mickey's cat. Alfredo.

Alfredo was a blue cat. A very rare thing for a cat to be blue, not light blue, not grey in some light. Alfredo looked as blue as cobalt blue. Not as shiny, but similar shade. That's how everyone knew Mickey's cat. Because of the blue fur that he had.

As it happens, blue cats are also magic. So when the man made Alfredo disappear. He only disappeared because he wanted to disappear. Alfredo had never been to hell and wanted to see what it was all about.

As soon as Alfredo entered hell, he turned himself into a huge, unsightly blue Manticore. And started using his stinger to sting and the demons until they backed off enough that he could run around through hell, and be generally left alone.

He also learned how to do the trick that the man Off-Broadway had done, that Alfredo could do it again, but better, because he could do it at will, and to whatever he wanted.

Alfredo was a magical cat. Alfredo had been worshipped for thousands of years. The only reason Alfredo stopped being worshipped was because it got boring. Otherwise we would be worshipping Alfredo to this day.

There isn't much to see in Hell, and after about six months Alfredo got bored with it. And dissapeared back into the world. Where he found out that he made a huge mistake.

Because Alfredo was a magic cat. When he went through to hell, he accidentally created a portal between the earth and hell. And the real reason that he was left alone for all those months while hanging out in Hell, was because demons were using to the portal to hop, skip, jump there way onto Earth. To kill and eat not just cats. But everything that on the planet that had a soul.

All cats have souls. Only blue ones are magic.

Blue cats are magic because they are blue, and they are blue because they are magic.

Alfredo felt horrible about all of this soul eating business that had been going on for the past six months and so he promised himself that he would round up all of the demons that escaped from hell, and send them back.

So Alfredo made a special demon cage. And he made a special demon locator, his demon locate hit on his neck like a collar. It was gold and had diamond studs. It was also where he would trap the demons. He also closed the portal. So that no more demons could get onto Earth.

Demons are very fast, and most of them can fly and are completely invisible to most humans. So he had his work cut out for him. But after an exhaustive twenty five years. Alfredo had rounded up all of the demons, except for one.

The man that made cats disappear? Demon. Had to go. Alfredo felt bad about this, as he knew how much the guys liked to bet on the cats disappearing. Had to be stopped though. Since cats have souls.

So do Demons, by the way. Just broken ones. A soul can be evil. In fact, there is nothing more evil than an evil soul. This writer digresses.

When Alfredo came into the alley, the man that made cats disappear, screamed at him.

“But I made you disappear! I made you!” He knew right then that Alfredo was a magic cat.

To which, Alfredo promptly responded.

“Meow.” Which was not just any meow. Oh no! It was a special meow. It was the meow that trapped all of the demons in his collar. Except, he made it one too small. So when he made the man who made cats disappear warp into his collar prison. It exploded letting all of the demons out.

They all flew away almost immediately and Alfredo couldn't catch them, because Alfredo couldn't fly.

At that point, Alfredo gave up, he wasn't about to spend another twenty five years chasing after demons. Once, sure. But twice? Nope, no way.

So, twenty five years and six months after he disappeared. Alfredo returned to Mickey. It was the happiest day of Mickey's life, since he had spent every single day, for the past twenty five years and six months, looking for Alfredo. Which was why Alfredo went back to him. Worshipping is one thing, loyalty is another. And they lived happily ever after.

Until one night, Mickey went out to place bets on which cat was going to disappear, and a demon ate his soul.

Alfredo didn't mind. He's a cat.